Birthdays are funny. I know I am turning 46 in two weeks and the very first thing I do is calculate the ages of my brother and sister (almost like a rite of passage to the next year or simply seeking comfort from the fact that ageing is a team sport with the humans you’re born with. I am grateful and thankful to these two humans who have protected, shaped, loved, fought and simply done life with me.
Today, I am celebrating the three children who make up the Moodley siblings!
Introducing the eldest; me. I have always been fiercely independent – a girl who had a plan with a strong faith in all she did (I trust in the Universe and that life will work out as it should). I believe you have one chance at happiness, so go for it, take the mistakes and celebrate them as much as the wins. Each mishap along the way should make the moment count twice as much! However, being born the eldest, I carry the expectations of the family and my siblings have become my babies. You feel protective of them, wanting to raise them and, at other times, you want to kill them too!
I laugh as I write this – my brother and sister have always protected me, as I was often too kind, too giving and a bit naïve (although they would probably say I am very naïve)!
My brother was born 13 months later. Strong, protective, honest and straightforward, he sees life as a direct journey from A to B, with no detours for D, E, etc. He is a traditionalist, deeply patriotic and loyal, and values strong connections. His love for us all is an umbrella in the sun and, especially, the rain.
My sister (our wild child) was born six years later. She is the light, the fun, and the heart of our family! Larger than life, she is full of energy. She starts and keeps the party going.
Growing up, and to this date (all of us in our forties), we fight, banter, and are super protective of one another. Our love for each other binds us! We can bicker among ourselves, but no one else dares pick a fight with any of us.
Sharing the fun
Sharing was a fundamental part of our lives. It made everyday moments more fun. Borrowing, negotiating and trading with each other for our allowances and junk food stashes was the currency of choice. We would never have something and not share. If I received something, I would ask if I could have two more for my brother and sister or I would happily cut my share into three pieces.
My brother used to make s’mores at Boy Scouts and the three of us would replicate his experience by roasting marshmallows on a candle at home and sealing it between Baker’s Marie biscuits and a piece of Cadbury milk chocolate.
My sister and I did everything together, from sitting in the bathroom while each of us took turns to shower, to enjoying our morning coffee and biscuits, to baking, cooking, and even falling asleep on each other’s beds.
Sharing taught us selflessness, kindness, and empathy.
Building a home
Our mum and dad worked full-time jobs. My mum also worked three Saturdays every month. She ran a tight and militant ship, but it was always filled with love. My dad was fair, objective, a great listener, and an advisor. Ahead of his generation, he shared domestic chores and enjoyed spending time at home with us. Together, they created a warm home for us.
We were raised to be responsible adults. Since we did not have any domestic help, my brother washed the cars and vacuumed the house, my sister took care of the dusting, and I was responsible for the kitchen chores. It was a daily routine to clean our rooms, make our beds, and put away our laundry.
This taught us how to build a home, respect it, take pride in it, and raise our children in the same manner.
Family favourites
We realised that we needed to get the chores done so we could all have more time together to watch movies, eat, and play board games – a firm family favourite.
To date, my brother is 44, my sister just turned 40, and yours truly nearly 46. We continue to look forward to our time together, enjoying meals and drinks ensuring our favourites are always catered. The get-togethers are very loud, with 30 Seconds, thunee (a traditional card game invented by South African Indians, taught to each generation), cheating, laughing and some happy tears too.
My brother’s home is very nostalgic of my parents’ home, filled with the wonderful aroma of food and love. (My sister-in-law is the best cook. She spoils us with traditional and always homemade dishes.)
Wherever I travel in the world, I always bring back local beer for my brother, traditional sweets for my sister-in-law, and the perfect accessories for my sister. We spoil each other’s children too, ensuring their bond is as strong as ours.
Each to their own
We have never experienced sibling rivalry, ever. My parents played an impeccable role in raising each of us in our own space, cultivating our own identities and respecting each of our unique strengths.
I, was probably the rebel with a cause, finding my place in the world, balancing and challenging boundaries of what girls (especially Indian girls) should and should not do and be.
My sister is a surge of energy, a thunderbolt. She keeps life light-hearted and exciting. She is the biggest child, with the kids gravitating towards her, the fun aunt. She would always paint and colour with our eldest niece and get into mischief with her nephews!
My brother stands as the solid oak tree in our family; in our 40s, his home feels like home. He is the glue that holds us all together – strong and rooted, a no-nonsense type of person, fair and principled.
Our first loves were each other. We raised each other, endured each other’s punishments, and always fought for one another. Life was always more enjoyable together, joking and bantering, teasing and laughing at the aunties and uncles; giggling with the sole purpose to make each other burst into laughter during meditation at the temple. Now, as we navigate life with our partners and our own children, the Moodleys remain the same; we continue to argue then retreat to our corners (as our parents made us do) to reflect, and then come back stronger!
So, to my brother and sister, thank you for sharing this rollercoaster of life with me! I would not swap you for anything in the world.
Yorumlar