The 5th of April marked the annual memorial service of my granny’s passing. Our family came together on the day to complete the traditional, customary rituals of her one-year passing. My granny knew the joys and the sorrows of life, having been married as a young girl, a mother to six children, grandmother to ten grandchildren, and great-grandmother to twelve great-grandchildren. She embodied beauty, love and devotion.
In my capacity as the master of ceremonies, I brought deep reflection into my journey as the woman I am today – especially in my very (very) early years when I lived with my maternal grandparents and family because both my parents worked in the day. My biggest learning from my grandmother is the way in which I carry the burdens of being a woman with strength, elegance and grace.
It was an emotional day… and so all I have left to say as I carry her forward is this – a poem for my grandmother:
Dear Aya,
Late one Sunday afternoon after a meal well prepared
I decided to kick my way
What started as indigestion
Turned to an eagerly awaited, first-born reception
My dad nervous with bountiful joy
My mum glowed and revelled in pride
Never my aunties and uncles, always my Ukkas and Unnas
And my dearest Aya and Thatha
Love, joy and happiness I had in abundance
Spoils, treats and visits were never short
So much of who I am today
Is defined from the love of our shared yesterdays
We had long conversations over our daily chores
With an ever-streaming of friends and family through these doors
Our days started with Thatha’s butter toast and black tea,
Then came his sour porridge and chutney
Lunch was always something yummy
Three o'clock was our special baking time, and tea
Afternoons spent making handmade bread and curries
At 6pm, the household turned into a flurry
Everyone returning from their day
In between we had the women’s circle
With baskets of treats for Pre and I
Cheese sandwiches, yellada, fruit cake and a banana or two
The trips to RK Khans Hospital was just as fun
While you stood queuing for your medicines
The market visits were just as exciting
With fresh tomatoes, green chillies and vegetables galore
Always a treat for the well-behaved two
You never stuck to our parents' rules
We are only children you would say
With you, we shared our hearts and secrets too
From first boys, to my goolab jamun that wouldn’t glue in the oil
To the first movie experience where we ignored our curfew
You were always saving us
Let me share once more, I am loved Aya,
You need to worry no more, my heart is safe Aya
I found my knight too
From being such a big, strong and powerful force of nature
Cooking, serving and nourishing so many
Nineteen years ago, a stroke took your body
I wandered, praying for your suffering to end
I was obsessed with why you would choose to live
For all those years,
I could not bear to see you
Stuck to a bed or a chair
My heart broke and fear struck at the irony of life
Then it dawned
That your love for us all was so boundless, limitless and unselfish
That you only needed your eyes and your heart to love
For all you wanted was to see and feel the family grow
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